I have watched nine babies get born.

This is the story of the first baby I almost watched be born.  I was a Fuller Brush man when I was in high school.   I went to school in the daytime, therefore I worked after dark most of the time.   One particular night, I knocked on this woman’s door.  She opened the door.  She was in a loose robe .  She was only a little bit older than me.   I said: “Fuller Brush man! I have a free gift for you!”, which was the opening line of my sales pitch.  She grabbed me by my letterman‘s jacket and drug me into the room. She was barefoot.   She immediately  went to the couch, sprawled laying on her back; then exposed the completely nude lower half of her body.

I was dumbfounded! I didn’t know for what purpose she wanted me.  So I asked her.  She said, “You’re going to deliver my baby.”  What!  I was shocked and those words caused me to be off balance as I slipped on the living room floor, nearly falling over.   I said, “What did you spill?”  She said, “My water broke.”  I didn’t know what that was as I was in high school.  So it meant nothing to me.  She laid down on the couch.  Putting one leg up over the back of the couch and one leg on the floor and told me to sit between her legs! So I did.  I could see her pussy.  It was moving in a really strange way.  “What’s happening?” I asked.  She answered, “I’m having a baby!”  “You’re going to deliver it!”

“What!!”, I shouted!  “What am I supposed to do?” “Boil water?”   “I don’t know anything about delivering babies!”  She then told me;  “You’re going to help the baby come out!”  “I don’t know how to do that!”, I told her.  I didn’t know how to do that. She told me to call her mother again.  So I called her mother and her mother answered and she said, “Who are you?” and I said, “I’m the Fuller-Brush man and your daughter told me she’s having a baby. She told me to call you. The woman hung up immediately without saying anything to me.  I didn’t know what she was thinking at all. I turned to the mom to be,  I said she hung up on me. Shouldn’t we call the doctor? She said,  “I did call the doctor and they said it would be a half hour before anybody could come and check me out.”  A nurse told her just to relax; everything was fine; that she was just excited and afraid. Then she knew she was going to have to deliver the baby herself alone until I knocked on her door.   She knew I was going to have to deliver the baby because it was coming now; she was having contractions. I didn’t know what they were either.

I was in high school I didn’t know what contractions were. So I’m sitting there amazed, watching her pussy move and get bigger and then somethings started to come out.  Then I heard someone pounding on the door and I said, “It’s unlocked. Come on in!”,  hoping it was a doctor it was the girl’s mom.  She was mom Zilla!    “What the fuck are you doing here!” she demanded.  “This girl told me  that I am here to deliver her baby.”  Mom Zilla yells at me, “Well what the fuck are you doing?”  I said, “Nothing. I’m watching. I never delivered a baby I don’t know what to do.”  Mom Zilla enraged yelled at me to get out of the way.   Then she said, “Did you call the doctor?”  The girl said, “Yes, and they said they wouldn’t be here for a long time yet.  If they had the time to come at all.”   Mom Zilla got on the phone and she was mom Super Zilla.   Her water has broken the baby is crowning.  You get here immediately!” She was very aggressive about it and scared the hell out of whoever she was talking to on the phone.  The other person was so upset I could actually hear what they were saying.

Now I’m standing off in the side of the room. Mom is between the girl’s legs, but I’m actually happy about that because I didn’t know what I was supposed to do there and I didn’t know what crowning was.

The doorbell rang again. The mother very rudely told me to answer the door.   I did. There were paramedics at the door.  They said, “What’s happening?”  I told them she’s having a baby as I pointed out the girl.  They ran over to the girl and looked at her for a very short time.  Quickly they put her on a stretcher, covering her with a blanket and took her away.   Well, I’m dazed and confused.  I’m standing there with her mom.   Zilla mom wants to go with them in the ambulance.  The paramedic said to me: “Are you the father of  this baby?   Mom Zilla  said, “What are you talking about?”   Then they pointed at me when I said no.  The paramedics said, “If you’re not the father, nobody’s coming with the ambulance.   Only the father can ride the ambulance.”  So they slammed the door and left.

Oh shit!!  I’m in trouble alone here with mom Zilla, who has made it very plain she does not like me.  Saying very rudely to me,  “Get the fuck out of here!”, as she opened the door.    So I left the strange house.   As I was standing outside bewildered not knowing what else to do  I realize I’m standing in a very cold rain.   I’m just standing there getting wet in the rain and getting cold.  Mom Zilla comes out she’s apparently found the house keys. She’s locking the door and she says, “You’re still here! “Get the fuck out of here! Nobody wants you around!”.  So I left, as she yelled at me some more; that she was locking the door so that I couldn’t go in and steal anything. I’ve been there for a long time and I hadn’t stole anything, so I don’t know what the hell she was talking about.

I never even knew the girl’s whole name.  I decided I didn’t want to work anymore that night.  So I went home.  I got home. I’m a couple hours early. My mom wants to know why I am home so early.  I said this girl told me I had to deliver her baby.   Before she could ask more questions.  I asked her what’s crowning and what’s it means that her water breaks?   My mom said go to ask your father.  I told my father. He thought it was hysterical.  So I found out what the water on the floor was.  Yeah and I found out what crowning was from my father.   Dad asked me what the girl’s name was?  I could only tell him her first name. “It was Lisa.” “What’s her last name?”   I said,  “I don’t know.”  My father laughed so hard he couldn’t breathe.  I sat down on the couch near my father and he knew I was perplexed, so he started telling me about how babies get out of moms.   My mother wouldn’t come in the room.  She didn’t want to hear the conversation.  I thought well, if anyone knows she should know.  I mean I came out of her.  She should be able to tell me, but she would not do it.

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